Carers World

wonder why I allow my life to be so dominated by my wife's illness.

Well, two reasons are:
legal responsibility

having seen so many cases over the years where mothers (and fathers) are prosecuted for negligence towards children, doctors/nurses towards patients, etc etc, I do wonder what would happen if my wife died from one of her 'seizures' whether I would be prosecuted. If my wife committed suicide could the police interpret circumstances as me 'assisting her'?
There are so many concerns in this respect.

the second is moral responsibility:

If anything did go wrong how would I feel? I would carry the guilt with me till I died. It is an awesome responsibility - one I actually hate - but it is my lot and I do my best

I had to take the missus to the Drs.. She has an earache that may or may not be connected to a tooth problem.

As per usual, as soon as we enter the Drs surgery she flips out and I am left a stroppy 14 year old who doesnt know why she is there.

Dr examines her, cannot find anything wrong, recommends paracetamol for a few days. With all the high grade painkilling tablets she is already taking I dont really think a couple of paracetamol will make any difference at all

So we leave the drs and before we get back home she wakes up from her epileptic doze that always follows such events and is back to normal.

She wants me to take her to our grandchildrens nativity play at their school this afternoon. But I know the rest of the day will be a bad one for her. I try to discourage her - she wont listen!!

Ok, says I, but I will give you hell if go wobbly one me whilst we are out. Literally faint and unstable, confused. This is her usual status for the rest of the day after an 'episode'.

Anyway, we get to the play and back and she seems ok! Does this mean she can choose not to feel bad? She can not give in?

I dont know The rules seem to keep changing. There is nothing consistent about her illness which I feel frustrated about.

Her mind chooses where and when to flip out, and where and when and how to come back. It seems that the after effects are changeable as well.

Oh well - lah-di-dah and all that tosh!!